For the last few weeks Lisa has been on me about contributing to this baby blog. I think she feels that I'm not showing enough emotion or not telling her what I'm feeling. But really, that's the difference between men and women, right? I'm totally ecstatic to become a father. We've been trying for so long and have had so many tough choices just to get to this point, I feel like we'll appreciate it more than if it was just as easy as people think getting pregnant is.
Lisa bought me my own funny Caveman Baby Book to read. I got to the point where it tells you what to pack on your trip to the hospital and I took a break. We'd only been pregnant for a few weeks but my book was ready for the kid to pop out. I figure sometime around month 6 or 7 I'll pick it up again and finish it. Besides, I'm a pop culture junkie, so therefore I know everything there is to know about having kids from watching too much TV. First, the baby always comes at the most inconvenient time; like during an important ceremony or when you're trapped in an elevator. Second, upon the start of labor the baby comes in what seems to be only a few hours. Third, the mom will yell, kick, scream, hit, and cause serious injury to her spouse, the medical staff, and anyone else to get the epidural she says she didn't want. Finally, the man (me) will faint, and wake up with all the hard work being done. Thank you ABC's T.G.I.F. line-up and all you other 90's sitcoms for teaching me about the miracle of life and my role in it.
To me it just seems like this baby is the cement of everything else in my life. Married, bought a house, having a baby, paying mortgage, have another kid, raise the kids, wake-up at 50 hating my job, have a mid-life crisis, bleach my grey hair black, turn it back to grey after Lisa says it's stupid, kids graduate from all the appropriate schools, they get great jobs and put me in a great nursing home so Lisa and I can live our last years being waited on by people who look like Scarlett Johannson and Channing Tatum. The End, right? I have come to conclusion that vampires are not real, so I can not become Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise, so therefore I will die someday. And like 99% of the people in this world, what I leave behind are my kids. They're our legacy. What I teach them is what they will pass on to their kids, and so on, and so on, just like my father taught me, and his father before him. That's the meaning of life ladies and gentleman; you're welcome! To learn from your life and pass that knowledge to your kids so that they might make the world a better place. Unfortunately I think the world is actually going the other direction. I mean who the hell wants to meet Snookie's kid in twenty years? I think people should pass an I.Q. test before they're allowed to breed, but then again that might count me out? Watch the movie Idiocracy, you'll get what I'm talking about.
Now where was I? Oh yeah, we're having a baby. Truth is being a dad kind of scares me a bit. If my kid grows up to be the next Hitler I'm gonna blame myself. Or what if I drop him/her while holding him/her. Kids are a lot of work and responsibility. I can't just go to the pet store and get a new one. But these last two years with Logan have taught me how much I'm going to love being a dad. Logan is not even mine and I love him to death. I love to see him smile, watch him think, learn stuff, and see the world through his eyes. I can't wait to see my children take their first steps, first words, first day of school, coach little league, teach them to swim, and all that other stuff in life parents are supposed to do. I know I'll probably end up making a few mistakes, but that's why you have more than one right? The first one is practice. But Lisa and I already agreed no more than two. That way we can still play man-to-man and not have to switch to a zone defense.
I love Lisa so much. I never realized what real love was until I knew I wanted to spend the rest of life with her, and if I'm supposedly gonna love this is upcoming child more than that; WOAH! I'm not good at a lot of things in life, but I'm gonna try and be the best Dad, Uncle, and someday, Grandfather, that I can. And then, one day, Clark or/and Nora will cremate me, Anakin Skywalker style, with fireworks, but no Ewoks!
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