Reflection

Parenthood

Nora is 1 now.  It's been an entire year since Shawn and I became parents.  We tried so hard and worked so long to make our dream of parenthood a reality.  We had to make hard decisions and weigh our finances to determine what could we afford in order to make our baby dreams come true.  Did we make the right decision?  We will never really know, but we are overjoyed at how wonderful Nora has turned out to be!!  She makes our past struggle easy to forget, or at least easier to forget!  We will never forget what we went through, and I know I will never be able to forget the pain I felt at times over the last few years, but she makes everything worth it.

I know people always say that you never really know love until you have a child.  I always thought that seemed kind of silly.  I mean, I love my family tremendously.  I love my nephew more than I had ever loved a child and couldn't have imagined loving anything more (don't get me wrong...I still love Logan SO SO much!) but, everyone was right.  It was amazing love at first site.

I will never forget...

The first time I heard Nora cry.

The first time I held her.

The first time she looked at me.

The first time she smiled.

The first time she babbled mamamamama.

The first time she really said mama when she wanted me.

The first time she rolled over, crawled, walked!

All of these things are burned into my memory because I love her more than life itself.  I know that's a cliche, but I would do anything for her and I really mean that! I have never felt such love.  I know that I have to protect her, from everything!  I have nightmares about not being able to protect her well enough.  Movies don't help this at all...  She is so special and wonderful and unique.  I want everyone to see how great she is and how perfect.  Everything she does is the greatest and the best.  Really.  She's a genius, I swear!  Really!

I love our bedtime routine.  I get Nora in her jammies, we read some books, she gets her bedtime bottle and then I just hold her in our glider and we snuggle.  She doesn't fall asleep like that anymore, she likes to fall asleep in her crib.  We just sit together for a bit.  I smell her head and put my check against hers.  It is my favorite moment of the day.  I so look forward to our bedtime routine that Shawn and I rarely get a date night...because I want to be home to put Nora to bed!  That is ok though, for now, because she won't want to do that with me forever and I need to take advantage of the moments while I can.  

She's already getting so big and independent...reminds me of a past version of me.  Yikes!

She doesn't know she's too big for this bouncy chair :)

Could that face be any sweeter...or look any more innocent.  She's about to start trouble, I guarantee it!

"Hello?"

Parenthood is all I thought and hoped it would be...and it is so much more!  I am so excited to see what baby #2 will bring our way.  (Not pregnant now...just thinking about the future!  Before rumors get started!)