It's been 7 days since sweet Nora was pulled into this world and it's been an experience ever since. They say you can never be fully prepared for parenthood, and I think that statement is pretty legit. After all the books we've read and classes we've attended the experience is what we expected, only real! Now in my whole week of being father I already feel like I've learned a lot, and probably have a lot more to learn.
Last Wednesday we went to the hospital hoping to have a baby that day. If so, little Nora would share the same birthday as Christian Bale. Of course the irony that my daughter would be born on Batman's birthday did not escape me. I should have found out when Tom Welling was born. That whole day was what I would call 'boring.' I knew being induced and trying to force the baby out would take a while. So I brought graphic novels to read and a laptop to watch Netflix, Hulu, and check Facebook every 5 minutes just because there is nothing else to do. By 8pm I had watched 3 movies, read 3 graphic novels, and was about to just reach up there and pull the baby out myself; maybe using one of those claw things you use to get stuffed animals. But I never win those things anyway so I decided to continue to wait it out.
At about 3am Thursday Lisa was talking to a fellow co-worker who was visiting and I was getting a little bit of shut-eye. Then Lisa said, "Oh, my water just broke." Talk about your cold showers! I was fully awake after that and all we saw was Lisa's co-worker's smokey shadow as he bolted out the door, Bugs Bunny style The next few hours Lisa was having contractions. I tried helping her by getting ice chips and getting her to breathe in her nose and out her mouth. After about an hour or so the whole breathing chore just seemed like too much effort for Lisa as she was crying for the epidural. She wanted to do this thing as naturally as possible, but with the contractions about a minute apart, thanks to the drugs, Lisa finally got an epidural at about 7am.
Then the waiting game continued. With Lisa all drugged up and no longer feeling her contractions we all got a couple of hours sleep. By about 2pm Thursday we decided to get this baby out. I would have done it 24 hours earlier, but I have no patience, and I think I'm borderline ADD. I then remembered why my nickname at Ball State was 'Impulse.' After the decision to do a c-section was made it happened faster than a Jimmy Johns delivery service. A bunch of people came in, they took Lisa away, and gave me some scrub-like things to put on.
When I got in the operating room a sheet separated Lisa's head and body. I immediately went to sit by her head and kind of ducked down so I would see no part of what was going on the other side. I kept watching the monitors; more than the other people in the room were I feel, who are supposed to watch them. I kept telling Lisa she was doing good as I heard suctioning happening. In a few minutes a baby came out and I went to the warmer to meet a crying Nora. I, again, did not look behind me for fear of having vivid ER flashback of George Clooney. Nora and I went to the nursery while all the kings horses and all the kings men put Lisa back together again. They cleaned up Nora and I held her for a bit as she opened her eyes and looked at me. At that moment I felt like an adult. I now had a responsibility to my family. I would now have to make smart decisions on a daily basis. Holy crap on a cracker.
Now, they tell you when you become parents you won't sleep much anymore. But knowing and experiencing are way different. That first night I felt like I got NO SLEEP. Lisa couldn't move so every time the baby needed fed or comforted I was the one doing the picking-up and dropping off. The last few weeks of being pregnant Lisa barely slept anyway, but I was still getting me 8hrs+.The one thing I don't understand is if babies have just come from a warm, tight, place then why do they make hospital rooms cold and have the babies sleep on just a flat mattress? Is it just to piss off new parents as their baby cries those first few nights? Of course the nurses and doctors coming in at all hours doesn't help at all. I was looking forward to bringing Nora home and not having her sleep interrupted so we could get some god damn zzzz's!
Leaving the hospital with your newborn is supposed to be scary for new fathers I'm told. But like I said above I was happy to get out after being there for 4 days and sleeping on a not-so-comfortable couch with crappy pillows and blankets. Plus, I was taking a nurse home with me, so I thought I'd be OK. That first night at home felt similar to the first night Nora was born; not so much sleepy time. I want to be the kind of husband who shares the weight of these late-night inconveniences. I try getting up every time Lisa does. I try taking Nora for a bit so Lisa can get a little sleep, but here's the reality of it; I don't have breasts! I can keep Nora calm for a little bit, but when she gets hungry mama has to wake-up and take over. I try to stay up and help. I even try to entertain Lisa while she's feeding the baby with Coupling episodes on my phone. They run about 25 minutes long, which is just about the length it takes to feed Nora. I'm pretty proud of that idea.
As the days have gone by I feel like it has gotten easier. Nora is sleeping a little more each night, and a little less each day. Those nights when I try to take her for an hour or two I praise the invention of Netflix and Hulu because I can just swaddle Nora, maybe rock her a little, and still keep up with episodes of Supernatural. The problem is I think I'm starting to become immune to Nora's cries and I sleep through Lisa getting up with her. Or maybe Nora really is sleeping better at night and I'm not an ass. Oh yes, remember those last few weeks of pregnancy when a man can do nothing right? We'll I think that carries over to the first few weeks of being a dad as well. Or Lisa is just really pissed that I'm getting more sleep than her. Granted, I'm a rookie in the presence of a Hall of Fame Baby Care Provider so I'm trying to take it all in stride and learn what I can. I can only watch TV and rock Nora at the same time but last night Lisa was cutting coupons, eating dinner, and holding Nora all at the same time. I think an extra arm came out with the baby as well.
I've also become very cautious about everything around Nora in the last few days; the dog running towards her, Logan jumping around her, and trying to block the sunlight from her eyes as I get her into the car like she's a vampire. This is all new territory for me and I think each month it'll be something new to learn just as Nora is learning something new every day. But when she looks at me with those big blue eyes I feel the wonder and the weight of being a father all at the same time. I'm just dreading her 11th to 12th birthday when she starts becoming a women. You ever see that King of the Hill episode when Hank has to take Kahn Jr. to get tampons? Check it out, it's pretty hilarious and pretty sure will be me in a few years. One week down, the rest of my life to go!
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